i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
