Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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