I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
