Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
