Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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