is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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