what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
