addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
