facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
