i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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