just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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