We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
