i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
