party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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