I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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