we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
