Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
