i think i have two assholes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
