I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i out mim tonsoeep
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