So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
