The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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