Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
