Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
