The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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