ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
