'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I love having hate sex.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
