Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
