Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
