I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
