It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
