Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
