Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
