That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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