He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Houston, we have a blender
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
