when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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