dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
