what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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