Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
