i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize