real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
