I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
