I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
