he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
