and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
