No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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