He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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