You made me cry and you don't even care
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my vag is so smooth its legendary
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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