The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
