But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i don't like sucking hair
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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