forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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