i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
