At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
