After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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