i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Randomize
