how can u be prego again
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
