Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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