do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
