I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
high people should be assigned attendants
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
