i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh god it's open bar.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize