But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
