I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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