I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
