Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
